This year has certainly been a rollercoaster ride so far! With social distancing, no toilet paper or cleaning products, and everyone at home, there are so many changes happening all at once. This year has even presented its challenges in terms of dating, but it gives us time to prepare for what we have been wanting and praying for. We often think that we are ready to date because we have been “single for so long” or that it is “time to settle down” so we go out into the dating field without any thought and often leave it more bruised up and broken than we were before we started. But there is a better way. The best thing for us to do, especially with all of this time on our hands, is create a plan that will help us to date more productively and protect ourselves from past hurts. I know it may feel like it isn’t possible but it is. And it all starts with the basics. Here are three ways to start dating more productively and get the mate you desire.
Be a great listener. When you’re dating, it is so helpful to be a great listener because you will hear exactly what that person is trying to convey. People often tell you up front what they are looking for but sometimes when they appear to be everything we have been desiring, we’ll skip over the red flags of that they are saying. If he/she says, “I’m just looking for someone to have fun and hang out with”, know that they mean just that. Don’t listen for what you want to hear, but listen to what they are actually saying. It will save you the heartache later and it gives you an opportunity to make a decision for yourself of if the relationship is worth pursuing or not. This is how you guard your heart.
Show up as yourself. Sometimes when we are dating someone, especially if we really like them, we’ll try to be all that they want. Let’s keep it real, I know you have done this before. I certainly have. But after a while that gets to be exhausting and if the relationship doesn’t go anywhere, you’ll begin to resent that person. You don’t have to be perfect to get the person you desire. You just have to be yourself. The question is, do you know who you are? Knowing who you are gives you an irresistible confidence that will attract the person who is meant for you. You can attract someone who will be in love with your quirky ways, or your gym obsession, or your way of approaching life. Take this time to figure out who you are so you can show up as your best self.
Stick to your boundaries. Having healthy boundaries can protect you and your heart. I have a rule that when I am dating, we have to go on at least ten dates before I would allow them to come to my home. I will meet them at our destinations for our dates and go my own may when the date was over. I put that boundary in place because everyone you date doesn’t need to know where you live. We have to remember that our home is our sanctuary and when someone comes to our home, they leave a stamp of their energy. The last thing you need is the energy of someone who may not be in your life that long and you end up finding wasn’t a match for you. It also protects you from having sex with them and clouding your judgment about whether they are a good fit for you or not. When you are creating your boundaries, reflect on your last relationship. What boundary should have been in place to prevent you from getting hurt? Use that to set your boundaries now and make sure to stick to them.
I want to challenge you to write these three tips down and try them out. I’m telling you that they will make a huge difference in how you approach dating this time around. I also want to challenge you to take my 5-day dating challenge, “Are You Ready? The Single Squad’s Guide to Dating in 2020”. It is a free challenge that will give you even more tips on how to date in 2020. Click the link now to get your copy today! https://payhip.com/b/Ak0z