Hey Single Squad! This is a season for getting all cozy and getting closer to each other. You’re maybe talking on the phone a lot or meeting up for coffee and food more often. When you’ve been dating for a while, it feels like you’ve known the person forever because it’s always so great in the beginning. They seem so charming and thoughtful, better than you may have expected. We all want companionship and someone to love us, but are there any red flags that you could be ignoring? There a few that don’t always stick out like a sore thumb. Let’s discuss a few red flags that we should be looking out for.
After hanging out for a while, maybe even months, he said that he’s not looking for a relationship right now. This one isn’t always easy to see coming, but that is because we do not have the proper boundaries in place. It is so important that when you begin talking to someone that you are crystal clear from the beginning what your intentions are and that you find out theirs. When a man says that he is not looking, he isn’t. Which means that he should not be getting the bulk of your time and interest because you are looking for a relationship right? How can you do that if you are spending the majority of your time with someone who is just passing time with you? Be clear from the beginning and set the correct boundaries. It will keep your heart and head safe. It will also leave room for the one who wants to be with you to date you.
He doesn’t respect your boundaries. Is he asking to come to your place a lot even though you have made it clear that you did not want someone at your place because it is a boundary you have set? Is he putting his arm around your waist, drawing you in, or hanging out too long even though he told you he wasn’t looking for a relationship but he likes being close to you? Is he pushing your self-control boundary by trying to be too touchy feely? Some people will push the limit to see how far they can go with you without having to commit. If a person doesn’t respect your boundaries, they don’t respect you. That means that they don’t deserve to take up time and space in your life. If they get away with the disrespect, they will see if they can push the boundary even further. It’s ok to tell them to hit the road.
He has trouble with commitments. Does he often say that he will call you but never does? Does he make plans and do not keep them? And not just with you but with other people in his life? A man who doesn’t keep his word is not ready for any type of commitment. This is a difficult one because they will usually do or say something to draw you back in and then waste even more of your time by falling back into the habit of not keeping their word. It’s better to recognize this early on so that you don’t waste months, even years of your time. You deserve someone who is ready, keeps their commitments and their word.
I hope that this has been helpful for you so that you know what to look out for while you’re dating. If you possess any of these habits, do not date until you have corrected these behaviors. We want to give our best selves as well as receive the best for someone else. Be open and honest with yourself and in your relationships. You both will be better for it.
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